About jazziness : I like Bruno Mars uhmmm I played lacrosse, sorta. I love FML and been here a while but I don't usually comment because everyone excepts some stupid witty response. kk bye...
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49695) - you deserved it (17141)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49695) - you deserved it (17141)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (2322)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52621) - you deserved it (2213)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (32457)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60399) - you deserved it (8245)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55648) - you deserved it (6198)
On 04/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (9526)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (33442)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (46771)
On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56775) - you deserved it (8400)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15100) - you deserved it (63543)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (9500)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (53909)
On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (435965) - you deserved it (61322)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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