Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazziness

Search for a member

jazziness

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7145
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jazziness : Gym, Tan, Lax
Minus the gym part haha

jazziness's page activity

Visits<b>black_sher</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:13pm<b>xXShadowStormXx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:16pm<b>kannan4</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:18pm<b>WeezyYaHeard</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Kenya14</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:49pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:22pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:35am<b>GavinoFreedom</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:51am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:25pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Amiiii</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:47pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:13pm<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 3:25pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:32pm

Fucked!<b>patts_</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:52pm<b>SpanishDude42</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:59pm

jazziness's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jazziness's badges

jazziness's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

#5441179
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (1960)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Davios (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (40015)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7099) - you deserved it (46264)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16283) - you deserved it (50153)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (9439)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (5096)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120574) - you deserved it (9160)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

#4382309
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64670) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:42am - misc - by oshitdonotwant (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (44435)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57604) - you deserved it (17267)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48094) - you deserved it (27207)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8186) - you deserved it (80205)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17343) - you deserved it (49400)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

#3927246
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61537) - you deserved it (3500)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: