Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazziness

Search for a member

jazziness

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5904
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jazziness : Gym, Tan, Lax
Minus the gym part haha

jazziness's page activity

Visits<b>thecman25</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:30pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:10pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:17am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:34pm<b>infected150</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:19am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:29pm<b>SpanishDude42</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:59am<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:07pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:19pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:52pm<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:21pm<b>trollman202</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:46pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 6:50pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:29am<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:22am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:30am<b>sabres5730</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:09am<b>DataRomance</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:49am

Liked!<b>SpanishDude42</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:59pm

jazziness's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jazziness's badges

jazziness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8811) - you deserved it (32787)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (4010)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

#8130787
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (5654)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (5527)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

#7573636
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (2252)

On 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm - kids - by KillahCam (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

#7465269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (1970)

On 01/20/2010 at 10:31pm - work - by TheoBuckner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (5816)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (13955)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

#6515596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (5022)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (3257)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (8856)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (39626)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: