About jazziness : I like Bruno Mars uhmmm I played lacrosse, sorta. I love FML and been here a while but I don't usually comment because everyone excepts some stupid witty response. kk bye...
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (1564)
On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore
Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2985)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (4092)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (4356)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm - kids - by KillahCam (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (1588)
On 01/20/2010 at 10:31pm - work - by TheoBuckner (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (4696)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (9180)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (3882)
On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (1803)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6220) - you deserved it (28094)
On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (8610)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (7394)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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