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jazziness

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jazziness
  • Town/Country : Ohio, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3916
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jazziness : Gym, Tan, Lax
Minus the gym part haha

jazziness's last visitors

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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jazziness's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (2757)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (4641)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

#19750799
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7595) - you deserved it (29824)

On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4364) - you deserved it (21436)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (2953)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (2709)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (2846)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21622) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (2929)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (5488)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3905) - you deserved it (30160)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (2356)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (2316)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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