Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazziness

Search for a member

jazziness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4772
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jazziness : Gym, Tan, Lax
Minus the gym part haha

jazziness's page activity

Visits<b>ishmael_b</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:37am<b>Jason324</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:43am<b>REST0RE</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:34am<b>zearow</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:24am<b>yareens</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:39pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:10am<b>geass_user</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 6:03pm<b>slt11901</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:26pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Exhayle</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:26pm<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:37am<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:00pm<b>db32</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:11am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:14am<b>TheSexyBurrito</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:47am<b>Shaowolf</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:56am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:20pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:02am

jazziness's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jazziness's badges

jazziness's favorite FMLs

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (3012)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11405) - you deserved it (43627)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (2795)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14584) - you deserved it (39137)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9521) - you deserved it (59046)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66441) - you deserved it (3220)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

#18344372
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19987) - you deserved it (12245)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:44am - health - by Sammy - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (2380)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (1889)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (3274)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (6879)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: