About jazziness : I like Bruno Mars uhmmm I played lacrosse, sorta. I love FML and been here a while but I don't usually comment because everyone excepts some stupid witty response. kk bye...
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (20211)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (3161)
On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (6207)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6050) - you deserved it (14866)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (2632)
On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (4184)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6624) - you deserved it (19156)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (18566)
On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (1419)
On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (3222)
On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8232) - you deserved it (19202)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (25091)
Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (2203)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9217) - you deserved it (31793)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Monday 20 May 2013
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