jazziloveberryy

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jazziloveberryy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jazziloveberryy's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:04pm<b>stvnmailloux</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:22am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:51am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:04am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:10pm<b>sleeplessjimmy</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 9:01pm<b>straww</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 5:19pm<b>FitzKnows</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:12am<b>kaylselyse25</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 10:45pm<b>doglover100</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Willski</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 3:36pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Starter</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:55pm<b>jjessen</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:37pm<b>mesocrazy</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 12:21pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 8:44pm<b>heyy_sunshine</b> - the 02/18/2010 at 8:18pm

jazziloveberryy's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jazziloveberryy's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

by masterzach21 / 01/22/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

by Toldyouso / 01/22/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

by lolreturn / 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love