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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers
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  • Number of visits : 904
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (27168)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

#14257746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (26852)

On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (5373)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

#14128663
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (4173)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

#14105864
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9059) - you deserved it (13493)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

#14086512
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (2035)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7062) - you deserved it (32631)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65706) - you deserved it (7415)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12856) - you deserved it (32807)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (3690)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (9530)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (43841)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

#11105800
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43872) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Collin - United States (New Jersey)



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