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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (1618)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (2006)
On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (2312)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (1524)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (2099)
On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (1141)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14179) - you deserved it (24767)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5681) - you deserved it (26884)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (4103)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (2875)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12723) - you deserved it (31729)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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