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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers

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  • Number of visits : 1560
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaylaufers's page activity

Visits<b>GiantEyedSuirrel</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:39am<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gamersonly1234</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:03pm

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56202) - you deserved it (9174)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39071) - you deserved it (6631)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (6708)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (6535)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54956) - you deserved it (3729)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42716) - you deserved it (4333)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (5980)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4459)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (8840)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60744) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58291) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States



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