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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers

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  • Number of visits : 1517
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>GiantEyedSuirrel</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:39am<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gamersonly1234</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:03pm

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65119) - you deserved it (6629)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (5019)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9238) - you deserved it (48515)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61970) - you deserved it (5795)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76732) - you deserved it (23386)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13605) - you deserved it (54445)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20261) - you deserved it (57275)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (35100)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68219) - you deserved it (6460)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90790) - you deserved it (27057)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
924 comments

I agree, your life sucks (347253) - you deserved it (38566)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (73482)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (407579) - you deserved it (66878)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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