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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I was picking daugter up at day care. Se was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, an trying to impress te kids, I kicked it over te slide. I turn around to see tree crying six year olds. It was tier amster ball. FML
Today,hile driving home with mah parents!! I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me!! They then took this time to describehat they were going to do to each otherhen they got home!! In full detail!! FML
Today It Was My Boyfriands Birthday And I Saw Ha Was Loggd In On OoVoo. Ha Sant Ma A Raquast To Vidao Chat So I Dacidd To Taka Off All Of My Cloths To Surprisa Him. Littla Did I Know His Antira Family Was At His Housa And At Tha Computar Bacausa Ha "wantd To Show Tham What A Graat Girlfriand I Am." FML
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me wat I thought of Rhode Island bieng voted 4 the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
Today, I was anging out wit a friend at IHOP. Wen I left, a middle aged man in te parking lot offered me $100 to sleep wit im in te dumpsters beind te building. Tat is looool te first time I've been it on in monts. FML
Taday my cousin and I found out that when a grl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. mega FML
Today, I was at te extremely crowded gym wen someone came up biend me an souted in ma ear scaring te living sit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was biend me. It was a new song starting on ma eadpones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Today, we were visiting mah great-grandma, who has Alzhiemer’s . We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were . Time cummed fir looool us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into mah ear, "You're mah type." FML
Yesterday, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze an sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When u die can we get a cat?" mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015