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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers

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  • Number of visits : 2689
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaylaufers's page activity

Visits<b>GiantEyedSuirrel</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:39am<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gamersonly1234</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:03pm

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (27710)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

#6740845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (2563)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15561) - you deserved it (37331)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51432) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (4652)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37348) - you deserved it (6034)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

#6175316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (3662)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10221) - you deserved it (36695)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (3450)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12929) - you deserved it (74140)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (55962)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54315) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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