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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2643
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>GiantEyedSuirrel</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:39am<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gamersonly1234</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:03pm

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48423) - you deserved it (15104)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (12074)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10145) - you deserved it (47994)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

#11105800
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45311) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Collin - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (3790)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (5814)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (2448)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12252) - you deserved it (51394)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (4143)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (11880)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (27697)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

#6740845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36058) - you deserved it (2562)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (37079)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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