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jaylaufers

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jaylaufers

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  • Number of visits : 1479
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaylaufers's page activity

Visits<b>GiantEyedSuirrel</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:39am<b>screamtobeheard</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gamersonly1234</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:06am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:03pm

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jaylaufers's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46685) - you deserved it (12640)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (23389)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (6437)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

#20994103
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (4178)

On 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm - misc - by NotTalented - United States (Colorado)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (12411)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (19257)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43170) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (4597)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (3082)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (2578)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39817) - you deserved it (6438)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (4801)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)



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