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jaykizz420's favorite FMLs
by that guy / 11/17/2011 at 7:19pm / Transportation
Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML
by kenzieeeee / 12/29/2009 at 7:30pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
by fatty / 06/09/2009 at 4:39am / Germany (Hessen) / Health
Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML
by El Boz / 02/22/2009 at 9:52am / United States (Maryland) / Animals
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- Today, I got a DNA test done on my son. The good news? We share DNA, so he's mine. The bad news? My… Today, while kayaking with my family, I thought I saw a snake. I paddled closer to it while arguing… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print…