Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jaybaldi

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

jaybaldi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 November 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jaybaldi's page activity

Visits<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:05am<b>otumboo</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:09am<b>Epikatz</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:30pm<b>DianeYoung</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:26am<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:18am<b>stlstretch2</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:31am<b>guckylynn</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 10:04pm<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:30am<b>mattyryancase</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:11pm

jaybaldi's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jaybaldi's badges

jaybaldi's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11784) - you deserved it (49861)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (59712)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57461) - you deserved it (12297)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (4750)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50158) - you deserved it (3480)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (41714)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63067) - you deserved it (16016)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (4029)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63173) - you deserved it (26321)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140219) - you deserved it (10019)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94799) - you deserved it (20005)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: