Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jay_south

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

jay_south

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jay_south : So when I'm bored in class, I take out my phone and read this site.
When you're bored, apparently you read my profile page. Not sure if I'm flattered or creeped out...

jay_south's page activity

Visits<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:31pm<b>melons</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:13am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:10pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:02am<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:47pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:33pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:43am

jay_south's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jay_south's badges

jay_south's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43818) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (2742)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (4070)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (5108)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42734) - you deserved it (6217)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (4738)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you deserved it (7961)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47933) - you deserved it (12186)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (12510)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (16731)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47218) - you deserved it (6961)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: