About jasonmar : Hi my names jason. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah but am currently living in Shanghai, China. FML keeps me sane on those rough China days!
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
jasonmar's favorite FMLs
by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 07/09/2011 at 12:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
by aridaley / 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…