About jasonmar : Hi my names jason. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah but am currently living in Shanghai, China. FML keeps me sane on those rough China days!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
jasonmar's favorite FMLs
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
by ilovechickens / 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Animals
by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by hurtsmyears / 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…