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jasminnaaa_

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jasminnaaa_

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  • Number of visits : 118
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jasminnaaa_'s page activity

Visits<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 7:53pm

jasminnaaa_'s FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jasminnaaa_'s badges

jasminnaaa_'s favorite FMLs

TODAY I ASKD OUT THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. HE TOLD ME HE'D ASK HIS DAD IF IT WAS OKAY. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST KIDDING, UNTIL HE PULLD OUT HIS PHONE AND CALLD HIS DAD. AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF "COME ON, DAD" AND "BUT WHY?" HE HUNG UP AND SAID HIS DAD WOULDN'T LET HIM. HE'S 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55922) - you deserved it (4628)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, ma usband and I arrivd in Barbados on vacation. We visitd a club, and tey ad a selection of drinks wit werd names. My usband orderd one calld te Raging Bitc, flickd is finger towards me, and said to te barkeeper, ( Migt as well get someting I'm usd to. ) FML

#20820272
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45070) - you deserved it (10376)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I met te most beautiful grl I've ever seen on te beac. I was nervous, but I just smiled an said, "Hey, your really pretty." Ten I let out a orrific fart. FML

#20816798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51749) - you deserved it (11065)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally talked mah boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I cummed an instinctively gripped his head with mah thighs. He panicked an we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51903) - you deserved it (11215)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

YESTERDAY, I AD MA FRST WET DREAM. I WOKE UP SWEATING AN SOAKING WET. TOO BAD I DREAMED ABOUT AVING INTENSE SEX WIT A CARDBOARD BOX. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (8526)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I Crawlad Into Bad With Mah Boyfriand. Ha Was Snoring Loudlyhich Is How I Knaw Ha Was Passad Out Cold. Onca I Was Undar Tha Blankat Naxt To Him, Ha Slowly Turnad Ovar, Starad Ma Straight In Tha Faca And Said, "I Hava To Kill You". Than Startad Snoring Again. FML

yesterday while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone looool making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I cummed out . FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting freaky wit my boyfriend and told im to spank me. In a seductive voice, e told me not to tell im wat to do. Continuing, I askd im ow e was going to punis me, to wic e ten replid, "I'm going to punc u straigt in te face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

TODAY, I JOKINGLY TOLD MAH FRIEND THAT WHEN A TREE SEEMS TO SWAY IN THE WIND, IT'S REALLY JUST HAVING AN ORGASM. NOT ONLY DID SHE BELIEVE ME, SHE'S BEEN SMUGLY INFORMING EVERYONE WE KNOW. SHE'S 26. I SEEM TO BE FRIENDS WITH AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT. REAL FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (5543)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, friends took work laptop and changd the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you ned to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54925) - you deserved it (6353)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

today my grlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (50940)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

today my grlfriend of six weeks dumpd me when she learnd that Macedonia where I was born is in Europe. Apparently she thought that I looool was "Asian" an she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah I'm totally confusd too. mega FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52811) - you deserved it (3469)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)



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