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jasmineviolette

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jasmineviolette

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  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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jasmineviolette's page activity

Visits<b>fatman1970</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 10:23am

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jasmineviolette's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87610) - you deserved it (14641)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (4935)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9544) - you deserved it (60865)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (64482)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11734) - you deserved it (49530)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52183) - you deserved it (8515)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)



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