jasmine2301

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Offline (the 01/19/2015 at 6:40am)

jasmine2301

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jasmine2301 : Hey~~ The name is Jasmine. I live in the Florida. Feel free to message me but please refrain from asking personal questions. They'll be ignored.
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Taken. 12/28/13
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Follow me on We Heart It; @RizzleRosie❤️

jasmine2301's page activity

Visits<b>Arnv</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>nocole58</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 6:09pm<b>however</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:55am<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Rhodie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:05am<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:55pm<b>zxglle6382</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Draco295</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:07am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:39pm<b>hope27</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:29pm<b>underthestars55</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 9:14pm<b>mat_sib</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:50am<b>bofors</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:21am<b>InnocentMalice</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 5:59am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:59am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 8:36am

jasmine2301's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jasmine2301's badges

jasmine2301's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

by User / 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

by -.- / 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

by OldHabitsDieHard / 09/18/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

by Amsterdamned13 / 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

by Amsterdamned13 / 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

by WTF / 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health