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jardinteylor

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jardinteylor
  • Town/Country : La Porte, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4164
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jardinteylor's favorite FMLs

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

#2182230
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (10299)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51702) - you deserved it (2681)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

#2140359
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14835) - you deserved it (55284)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (85062)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56037) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68688) - you deserved it (9771)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (26188)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

#1746299
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45977) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by Wally (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52846) - you deserved it (5225)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90297) - you deserved it (19963)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (24382)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51518) - you deserved it (9859)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328988) - you deserved it (35697)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

#829744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by halebop (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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