jardinteylor

Search for a member

jardinteylor

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4833
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

jardinteylor's page activity

Visits<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:01am<b>LazyFlan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:47pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:20pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:05am<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:27am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:05pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:20pm<b>goodlifenah</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:48am<b>californian21</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:43pm<b>japcrap</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:34am<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>TStiles</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:33am<b>swaftmasterj627</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Mike3399</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:01am

Fucked!<b>Loveme_Hateme16</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:51am

jardinteylor's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jardinteylor's favorite FMLs

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

by bathroomseww / 05/12/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

by Wormy / 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

by Wally / 05/08/2009 at 11:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

by TrulyYours / 05/07/2009 at 8:39am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

by halebop / 04/06/2009 at 1:26am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML