jardinteylor

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jardinteylor

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5068
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jardinteylor's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 3:09pm<b>nishcabob</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:36pm<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:30pm<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:01am<b>LazyFlan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:47pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:20pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:05am<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:27am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:05pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:20pm<b>goodlifenah</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:48am<b>californian21</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:43pm<b>japcrap</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:34am<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>TStiles</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:33am

Fucked!<b>Loveme_Hateme16</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:51am

jardinteylor's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jardinteylor's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

by wildthing / 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

by TBaggins00 / 06/21/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Illilois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

by yuck / 06/21/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

by apparentlyugly / 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

by dodgerkiss / 06/10/2009 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

by Ash / 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

by Weezylover / 05/26/2009 at 4:24am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

by Invisible / 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love