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jaquesmic

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jaquesmic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 495
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaquesmic : Hey I'm michael

jaquesmic's page activity

Visits<b>iloveshim</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 5:21pm<b>JrLee87</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:40am<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 1:46am<b>chopy</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:00pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 3:39pm

jaquesmic's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of jaquesmic's badges

jaquesmic's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (9564)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (38105)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (3453)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (17007)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (7944)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (5015)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33391) - you deserved it (2117)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (11311)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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