Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About japan166 : Hi my name is Reba and I love getting messages! ?((?x?))?
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
2day cops showd up at my apartment demanding to look inside . Satisfid with the search , they told me they had receivd a noise complaint . More specifically , hearing screams someone believd a grl was getting rapd . I had two friends over and we had been wrestling . The three of us are male . FML
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she usd a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that lookd like her. She startd crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigurd. fat FML
Today I slept over at mah friend's house but forgot mah glasses. When I woke up in the morning I came out of his room and forcefully kicked wat I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with mah brother and a woman!! He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'!! I chuckle and then shake mah head!! He shrugs!! A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach mah brother sign language when he was six!! FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I calld him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him askd who that was. He replid, "Just this fat chick I know". FML
TODAY, AFTER A LATE NIGHT AT A BAR, I STEPPED INTO MAH BUILDING'S ELEVATOR WITH A CHINESE MANHO WAS CARRYING A PLASTIC BAG. WITHOUT THINKING, I SAID, "OOOH, R U STILL DELIVERING?" HIS RESPONSE WAS, "I LIVE HERE." FML
Taday I trid to befriend te lonely boyo sits at te end of table at lunc. He always sleeps or does omework during lunc. I walkd over to im, trippd, and spilld open bottle of water on is jeans. I apologizd profusely and wipd off is pants wit napkins. He got ard. FML
TADAY I WENT INTO A SHOP, NOT REALLY COMPLETELY AWAKE. TO GET TO THE UPPER FLOOR, I TOOK THE ESCALATOR... IN THE WRONG DRECTION. AFTER ABOUT 30 SECONDS (WHICH SEEMED LYK HOURS) TRYING TO CLIMB UP THE WRONG WAY, MAH BRAIN STARTED WORKING AND BY THAT TIME I ALREADY HAD A FEW AMUSED SPECTATORS WATCHING ME. FAT FML
Friday 27 March 2015