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janicus

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 1:36pm) | Search for a member

janicus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 121
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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janicus's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:35pm<b>robbie12321</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 10:49pm<b>funky2525</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:50pm<b>Axiarus</b> - the 10/21/2012 at 1:15am<b>sillyyanks</b> - the 10/20/2012 at 2:58pm

janicus's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

janicus's favorite FMLs

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (3022)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (46037) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16918) - you deserved it (30703)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25673) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (35567)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (4871)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (66280)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37467) - you deserved it (5194)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

#16271317
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (4593)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (15031)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (44589)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (44589)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -



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