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janicus's favorite FMLs
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 6:06am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Money
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by marisa / 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
by whytoday / 05/21/2012 at 10:59am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…