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jane35

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jane35

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jane35's page activity

Visits<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:49pm<b>nevm</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:15pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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jane35's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

#21455380
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (1890)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:44pm - kids - by jjjjjohn cena - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2400)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (5624)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (4304)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (33577)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (2887)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (2852)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (5475)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (5119)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2213)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33172) - you deserved it (6457)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (3465)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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