About james_lee_dakota : .
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (3259)
On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5553) - you deserved it (83856)
Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7971) - you deserved it (66440)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (37520)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (3386)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (5604)
On 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm - misc - by justmyluck? -
Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (2539)
On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6371) - you deserved it (35920)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (2320)
On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (3790)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you deserved it (53529)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (45741)
On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10786) - you deserved it (44816)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (3552)
On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Monday 17 June 2013
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