Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

james_lee_dakota

Search for a member

james_lee_dakota
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 May 1976 (37 years)
  • Number of visits : 1278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About james_lee_dakota : .

james_lee_dakota's last visitors

ThursdayxoneilykinskwykFFML_314billyz77rcbarnesFreezeshelleymaree

james_lee_dakota's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of james_lee_dakota's badges

james_lee_dakota's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (23423)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46579) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10879)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (64188)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (8477)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

#17330812
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (2296)

On 08/01/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Foreigner (woman) - Jersey

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

#17330120
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (2383)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:55am - intimacy - by notsurprised (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

#17322552
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (32547)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

#17316346
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Tireddddddd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (11904)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38100) - you deserved it (7302)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (56507)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: