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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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james_lee_dakota's favorite FMLs
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by bad karma / 11/21/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Health
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 3:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
by Joe / 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids
by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked… Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to… Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML