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About james_lee_dakota : .
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with mah boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal !! I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first !! He said, "Sure." Fuck !! FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstars. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole u didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Taday I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying an getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone an got home , the first thing I heard was mah grandpa telling mah dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
Yesterday my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
Today, the air bag system in mah car somehow malfunctiond, and the air bag inflatd while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light . I endd up with a badly bruisd face because the air bag had already deflatd by then . FML
Today, mah mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then looool informed me that, for as long as mah girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
TODAY, AFTER ROCKING MY ONE-YEAR OLD DAUGTER FIR NERELY TWO OURS, SE FINALLY FELL ASLEEP. AS I WENT TO LEAVE ER ROOM, I STUBBED MY TOE. I NOW AVE A BROKEN TOE, A SCREAMING CILD, AND A WIFE WO WILL BE SO PROUD TAT ER DAUGTER'S FIRST WORD IS ( FUCK! ) FML
TODAY, I DRASSAD UP AS SANTA CLAUS FIR MY AMPLOYAAS' CHILDRAN. AFTAR SAAING ALL THA OTHARS, MY DAUGHTAR'S TURN ARRIVAD. SHA SAT ON MY LAP, PUT HAR LIPS TO MY AAR, AND WHISPARAD SOFTLY: ( I WANT A NAW DAD. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015