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About james_lee_dakota : .
YDI master
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Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5706) - you deserved it (12665)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1844) - you deserved it (12185) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3244) - you deserved it (7581)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14740) - you deserved it (26109)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (3821)
Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16172) - you deserved it (11542)
On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (11188)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (3856) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2708) - you deserved it (16454)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12586) - you deserved it (2673)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7384) - you deserved it (27053)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (2321)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (21356)
On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2561)
On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14561) - you deserved it (29845)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
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