james_lee_dakota

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 5:34am)

james_lee_dakota

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 May 1976 (40 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2522
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About james_lee_dakota : .

james_lee_dakota's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 12:06am<b>Socks91</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:18pm<b>neilykins</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 3:30am<b>kwyk</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 3:45am<b>FFML_314</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>billyz77</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 11:52pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:04pm<b>schoolbumz</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 8:39am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>shelleymaree</b> - the 07/26/2011 at 4:08am<b>beachsunset</b> - the 06/13/2011 at 7:49pm<b>Darcon</b> - the 06/11/2011 at 7:28pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/05/2011 at 8:47pm<b>minnymouse20</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 4:52pm<b>JuicyCheeks</b> - the 03/25/2011 at 4:09pm<b>sweet2u22</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 10:35pm<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:39pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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james_lee_dakota's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

by Unwanted / 08/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids