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jallred254

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jallred254

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 719
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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jallred254's page activity

Visits<b>kittylies</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:37am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:50pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:52am<b>berryjones11024</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:24am<b>abby311298</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:03pm<b>tique22</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>coreysport19</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:39am<b>billionair11</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:36pm<b>janiiine</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:26am<b>zsmonk</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>steeledwolf</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 6:23am<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 9:40pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 6:39am<b>AustinwFML</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:32pm<b>DarkSighty</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:56pm<b>Cristianma</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 7:12am<b>stealmyusername</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:39pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:24am

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jallred254's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (8691)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

#18014210
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (3872)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (37131)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37386) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (3716)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (3716)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

#17919933
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (31180)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11530) - you deserved it (31327)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

#17773869
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (3973)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (3000)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (9398)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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