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jallred254

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jallred254

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  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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jallred254's page activity

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jallred254's favorite FMLs

Today, I Had Sex With Mah Boyfriend For The First Time. After We Finishd, He Went Under The Covers And Startd Touching Me. At First I Thought He Was Trying To Give Me ( Oral Pleasure ). It Turns Out He Lost The Condom Inside Of Me And Was Trying To Fish It Out Before I Noticd. FML

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure" . Her husband was in the room . FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (8713)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today , while I was in the shower , my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian!! I don't know how and can't change it back!! fat FML

#18014210
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (3875)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was washing mah hands in the bathroomhen I looked up and saw a spider on mah cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. fat FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (37202)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came ome to my empty apartment. My grlfriend ad left a note on te floor tat said: "Took my stuff and left. Took yur stuff and pawned it." real FML

#17994746
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37450) - you deserved it (4893)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it turns out that hairy feet r the most memorable part about me. My family's namd me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (3723)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it turns out that hairy feet r the most memorable part about me. My family's namd me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (3723)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Yesterday, I got calld fir a job interview . I didn't catc were it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask . I now ave no idea were I'm being interviewd . FML

#17919933
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (31892)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I SAW A MAN DANCING TO A BRITNEY SPERES SONG IN HIS VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE. I STARTD LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY UNTIL HE GOT OUT. HE WAS HUGE. I WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC. MEGA FML

#17919835
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11559) - you deserved it (31411)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah boyfriend kindly informd me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't knowhether he's joking or not. fat FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girlho did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

#17773869
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (4141)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, I checkd the camera I set up to find outho has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. real FML

#17672828
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting pickd up a knife an said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner . Only 5 more hours to go . FML

#17672212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband comparad ma to his parant's dog. Why? Bacausahan I slaap I fart and scara mysalf awaka... Just lyk his parants dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (9412)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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