jallred254

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jallred254

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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jallred254's page activity

Visits<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:25am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:21am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:43am<b>1991stealth</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:17am<b>smrn95</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:48pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:02pm<b>R3G3N</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:03pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:33pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:07pm<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:44am<b>kittylies</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:37am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:50pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:52am<b>berryjones11024</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:24am<b>abby311298</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:03pm<b>tique22</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:02pm

Fucked!<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:44pm

jallred254's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jallred254's badges

jallred254's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

by jaleesadavis21 / 10/18/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

by oxymorons / 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals