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jalapeno64

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jalapeno64

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jalapeno64 : I live in Los Santos, California. I pay hookers for sex a lot then kill them to get my $ back. I deal drugs such as that oregano, some of that tylenol, cleaning products, ect. I have an M16 but with no ammo because I use it to shoot flies. So don't come anywhere near my house because I can whack you in the head with it!

jalapeno64's page activity

Visits<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:25am<b>becauseofcats</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:52pm<b>kobelstone23</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 12:36am

jalapeno64's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of jalapeno64's badges

jalapeno64's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (3572)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (10014)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (31510)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9121) - you deserved it (35565)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23768) - you deserved it (10049)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (28436)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (2633)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (75829)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)



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