jakethejeep

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Offline (the 01/19/2015 at 1:08am)

jakethejeep

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 463
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jakethejeep's page activity

Visits<b>dustydick</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:54pm<b>imolai</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:23pm<b>ChrisDaWhite</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:46am<b>drshn</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:38pm<b>sunda</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 6:21pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 8:39am<b>demi94</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:40pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:44am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:06am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:36am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:18pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:17pm

jakethejeep's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of jakethejeep's badges

jakethejeep's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

by SocialAnxietySucks / 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love