Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jakethejeep

Search for a member

jakethejeep

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jakethejeep's page activity

Visits<b>imolai</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:13pm<b>ChrisDaWhite</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:46am<b>drshn</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:38pm<b>sunda</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 6:21pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 8:39am<b>demi94</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:40pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:44am<b>Kar0</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:06am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:36am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:18pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:17pm<b>spekledworf</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:35am

jakethejeep's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of jakethejeep's badges

jakethejeep's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54583) - you deserved it (7692)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47037) - you deserved it (5437)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (3966)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (10307)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (14200) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (2847)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16827) - you deserved it (45836) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10474) - you deserved it (23626)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (74860)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: