jake

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jake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37708
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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jake's page activity

Visits<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:04am<b>missycanfly</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 11:02pm<b>clumsyninja13</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:03pm<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:01pm<b>seth_ramey</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:27am<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:41pm<b>realtree_girl</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:50pm<b>omgoshreally</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:46am<b>batah</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:21am<b>maddiemonroe14</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:06pm<b>demonheart22</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:58pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:58am<b>DWordHead16</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:28pm<b>Calebven1</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 10:00pm<b>bende</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 1:05am<b>papaya_master</b> - the 03/10/2011 at 9:28am

jake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jake's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

by shopper242 / 11/22/2010 at 7:29am / France / Intimacy

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML

by Hannah / 02/28/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

by disgusted / 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

by tammyg / 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

by Krit / 02/10/2010 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

by ... / 02/10/2010 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

by LynnJ / 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

by goldenshower / 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

by confused / 02/04/2010 at 11:12am / Love

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous