This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2664) - you totally deserved it (11492)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (2371) - you totally deserved it (10127)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML
I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you totally deserved it (1900)
On 02/28/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Hannah - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13685) - you totally deserved it (1475)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)
Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10981) - you totally deserved it (1492)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12242) - you totally deserved it (3052)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States
Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11193) - you totally deserved it (1092)
On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you totally deserved it (2000)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you totally deserved it (3456)
On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2602) - you totally deserved it (27357)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16637) - you totally deserved it (2165)
On 02/04/2010 at 11:12am - love - by confused - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I went on a blind date with a girl I met online. I lied to her that I was single, and she told me she is single too. I immediately knew she was lying when I saw her. Why? Because she is my girlfriend. We broke up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4457) - you totally deserved it (31598)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Mhsaysdance (man) - Malaysia (Perak)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5211) - you totally deserved it (36603)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you totally deserved it (5030)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you totally deserved it (1741)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
