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About jakacki : My names matt I'm 18 and I'm in the US Army! Im a 31B for all you military personnel :D and I am ARMY STRONG Hooah! I'm currently stationed in Waegwan South Korea.. i love reading FML's they make my day better.. i'm in love with video games and i listen to hardcore and dubstep music..a few of my favorite bands are asking alexandria, we came as romans, falling in reverse, sleeping with sirens, silverstein, chiodos, pierce the veil, abandon all ships, and skrillex.~~if you have any questions or just wanna chat hit me up:) my kik is Jakackimatt~~
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
Friday 18 July 2014