About jakacki : My names matt I'm 18 and I'm in the US Army! Im a 31B for all you military personnel :D and I am ARMY STRONG Hooah! I'm currently stationed in Waegwan South Korea.. i love reading FML's they make my day better.. i'm in love with video games and i listen to hardcore and dubstep music..a few of my favorite bands are asking alexandria, we came as romans, falling in reverse, sleeping with sirens, silverstein, chiodos, pierce the veil, abandon all ships, and skrillex.~~if you have any questions or just wanna chat hit me up:) my kik is Jakackimatt~~
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53769) - you deserved it (7633)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (12192)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54705) - you deserved it (7616)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (2750)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (8115)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11656) - you deserved it (28170)
On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (4003) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm - kids - by laptitesouris (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (6116)
On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (2804)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (12734)
On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50700) - you deserved it (10763)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (13805)
On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (7400)
On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (14001)
On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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