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jaime411

Offline (the 10/14/2014 at 12:56pm) | Search for a member

jaime411

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.

jaime411's page activity

Visits<b>Azail</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:19am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:09pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 6:43pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:32am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19am<b>Kay_Noelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:15am<b>housebox</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 1:05pm<b>billyz77</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 6:52pm<b>silvanna</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Uhscanherdarklee</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>RobManB</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:31pm<b>kaet</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Grimolas</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 5:10am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 1:02am

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jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

#20729993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (3038)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (3879)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48853) - you deserved it (2755)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60585) - you deserved it (6236)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

#20727839
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35744) - you deserved it (5124)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40026) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46963) - you deserved it (4257)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (20237)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (4317)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58017) - you deserved it (3966)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72979) - you deserved it (7222)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (4583)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)



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