About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (7507)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (3821)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (3488)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my coworker learned that I'm an Israeli Jew. He told me, in the same sentence, that Jews should "get the fuck out of Israel" and also "get out of Australia and back to your own country." Um, what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (5295)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:53am - work - by JewSoSilly (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (11436)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (2487)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)
Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (2271)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (57864)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (2068)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States
Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34249) - you deserved it (1780)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:34am - love - by ItsAnanya (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (1364)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:34am - work - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (3574)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (2651)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (3100)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by colorguard13 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (1500)
On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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