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jaime411

Offline (the 10/14/2014 at 12:56pm) | Search for a member

jaime411

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4740
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.

jaime411's page activity

Visits<b>Azail</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:19am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:09pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 6:43pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:32am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19am<b>Kay_Noelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:15am<b>housebox</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 1:05pm<b>billyz77</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 6:52pm<b>silvanna</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Uhscanherdarklee</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>RobManB</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:31pm<b>kaet</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Grimolas</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 5:10am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 1:02am

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jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (11411)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (16380)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (4062)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45443) - you deserved it (4917)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (70089)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (6072)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

#18372418
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (2218)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
114 comments

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

#18279897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (6800)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (8036)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (4927)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (46639)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (33782)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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