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jaime411

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jaime411
  • Town/Country : new york, Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2699
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.

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jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (41614)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (1819)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (4015)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (4926)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (10514)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (12392)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (50650)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (5840)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

#18372418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of



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