jaime411

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Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 7:16pm)

jaime411

0Fucked!

jaime411jaime411
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9654
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine you're on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders. lovely right?

jaime411's page activity

Visits<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:22pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:56am<b>mario_di_fonzo</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:52pm<b>trashboat911</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:32pm<b>wontmakeitalone</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:46pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:34am<b>heyqt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:01pm<b>SnowxSakura</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:05am<b>Lucael</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Azail</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:19am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:09pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 6:43pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:32am

jaime411's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of jaime411's badges

jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

by anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

by Santa / 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

by jessi / 12/02/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Kids

Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

by Exhausted / 11/28/2011 at 1:07am / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy