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Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 7:16pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9835
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine you're on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders. lovely right?

jaime411's page activity

Visits<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:22pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:56am<b>mario_di_fonzo</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:52pm<b>trashboat911</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:32pm<b>wontmakeitalone</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:46pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:34am<b>heyqt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:01pm<b>SnowxSakura</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:05am<b>Lucael</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Azail</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:19am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:09pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 6:43pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:32am

jaime411's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.


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See all of jaime411's badges

jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

by nomwar / 06/17/2013 at 9:55am / United States / Health

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

by newyorkers / 06/17/2013 at 8:46am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

by Idontbelieveinmagic / 06/17/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation