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jaime411

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jaime411
  • Town/Country : new york, usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.

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jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48685) - you deserved it (3779)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (6503)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59906) - you deserved it (6186)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (5565)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (4322)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (3246)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62264) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42174) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38208) - you deserved it (3420)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)



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