About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43994) - you deserved it (5670)
On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (2433)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (2094)
On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45872) - you deserved it (2631)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)
Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45604) - you deserved it (3227)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (3944)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16575) - you deserved it (65438)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35213) - you deserved it (6951)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (7696)
On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (37694)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42176) - you deserved it (23018)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37794) - you deserved it (2814)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57723) - you deserved it (3439)
On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44832) - you deserved it (7232)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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