Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jaime411

Search for a member

jaime411

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3517
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine your on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders.

jaime411's page activity

Visits<b>Azail</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:19am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:09pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:56pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 4:35pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 6:43pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:32am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19am<b>Kay_Noelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:15am<b>housebox</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 1:05pm<b>billyz77</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 6:52pm<b>silvanna</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Uhscanherdarklee</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>RobManB</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:31pm<b>kaet</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Grimolas</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 5:10am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 1:02am

jaime411's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of jaime411's badges

jaime411's favorite FMLs

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (10802)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57841) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40790) - you deserved it (10359)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43936) - you deserved it (3963)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (3542)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (6319)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54176) - you deserved it (3200)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (4866)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: