About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine you're on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders. lovely right?
About jaime411 : Well hi there,
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jaime411's favorite FMLs
Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML
by lrn2spel, teach / 12/12/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 3:25am / United States / Kids
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
by john doe / 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
by unlucky neighbors / 12/06/2013 at 4:36am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML
by elle / 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed… Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical… Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old…