About jaime411 : Well hi there,
Imagine you're on the back of a giant Tortise swimming across the pacific ocean while small mutant Caterpillars sang a song to you from the tops of your shoulders. lovely right?
About jaime411 : Well hi there,
jaime411's FML badges
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jaime411's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by smileydays / 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
by love you too mommy / 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm / United States (New York) / Love
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
by shit / 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
- Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn.… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between…