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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jahwn

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jahwn
  • Town/Country : America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1321
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jahwn : I exist, or do I muahahahahahhahaha.

jahwn's last visitors

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jahwn's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of jahwn's badges

jahwn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (936) - you deserved it (5668)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (1583)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (1117)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (9521) - you deserved it (1134)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (7977) - you deserved it (1468)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

#18968605 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (1770)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (1047)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (537)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (6179) - you deserved it (683)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother in law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML

#18949118 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (956)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:24am - kids - by myself - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (9909) - you deserved it (1011)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (1952)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (9682) - you deserved it (839)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#18894125 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (8040) - you deserved it (598)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:47pm - work - by moe472 (man) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (2601) - you deserved it (7848)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States