About jacquesromualdez : Oops! Error:43ej6osg75 Incorrect user ID:sk83ae12 Im under your bed.
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jacquesromualdez's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm / Isle of Man / Kids
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
by ApparentlyNotEno / 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
by Kay / 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Intimacy
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
by WTFruits / 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
by grossed out / 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health
- Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were… Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end… Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let…