jacquesromualdez

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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 4:43am)

jacquesromualdez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6126
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jacquesromualdez : Oops! Error:43ej6osg75 Incorrect user ID:sk83ae12 Im under your bed.

jacquesromualdez's page activity

Visits<b>keyofdestiny13</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:37am<b>kaimabeanhof</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:44pm<b>SGTcrazyBoy2000</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:10pm<b>Gunnie</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:09pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:23am<b>baconbacon69</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:15pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:45pm<b>cade0718</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:17pm<b>maldonadocmr</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:43pm<b>FML64128</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:38am<b>starfish7</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:37am<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:37am<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 8:23pm<b>johnnyrocket900</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:25am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 5:29pm<b>TheSmoothDude</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 3:09pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jacquesromualdez's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 5:07am / United States / Work

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

by scarredforlife / 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy