jacob2332

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Offline (the 06/16/2016 at 8:36pm)

jacob2332

0Fucked!

jacob2332
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jacob2332 : Huge gym rat/fitness freak, off-road enthusiast. I play rugby year round. I love Country music as well.

jacob2332's page activity

Visits<b>six922</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:45pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:36am<b>j_cat187</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:46pm<b>xadoringx</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:05am<b>brickboy1</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>ShortyJorty</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:58pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:41am<b>cucumber10</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:17pm<b>swasher</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:51pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:03am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:01pm

jacob2332's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jacob2332's badges

jacob2332's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

by dadyoureacunt / 09/21/2013 at 9:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy