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jackzyx780

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jackzyx780

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jackzyx780's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15694) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (1944)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (1596)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (2058)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34444) - you deserved it (3736)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (3819)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (3640)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (3069)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (1969)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (51218) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

#19561558
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (2416)

On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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